How to Break Up With Someone You Love
Breaking up with someone you love takes a lot of courage. Dealing with a break up is one of the hardest things anyone can experience. The emotional stress caused by a break up with either a boyfriend/girlfriend or a spouse can feel like your heart is literally about to pop out.
Have you been involved in a bad relationship and crave to have a healthy relationship? Have you considered how life will be if you decide to break up with him or her? Do you dread a heartbreak and desire better ways of getting back with an ex? You need to read on to get the best tips on breaking up with someone you love or care about to avoid a broken heart.
Some of the best breakup songs of all times have been famous for soothing broken hearts for decades. So, instead of wallowing away in self-pity, frustration, pain and listening to people who say nothing to ease that pain, just tune-in to get your spirit lifted!
So then, what are those signs that spell out a bad relationship?
If you are going through any of these in your relationship, you may just need to think again if it’s really worth it?
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- Continuous Infidelity and distrust
- Refusal to take responsibility for mistakes and unwillingness to correct them
- Physical and emotional abuse
- Either of the partners no longer foresees a future together
- Addictive behaviors: such as, alcoholism, smoking or substance abuse
At one point or the other in your relationship, you may have thought of breaking up for different reasons, but you stayed, thinking you’ll be hurting your girlfriend or boyfriend by taking that step and putting their happiness ahead of yours. If you need advice on reversing a breakup, check out: How to win a girl back and How to win my ex back.
Is it right breaking up with someone you love?
The answer is “Yes.” No matter how much you love or care about your partner when the relationship has gone sour and deteriorated to the point of physical violence or mental abuse, a breakup is strongly advised. Else it may be difficult to learn from the experience and tell the story if such abuse takes you six-feet beneath planet earth.
Experience has shown that most abusive relationships don’t get better except through counseling both the person being abused and the partner initiating the abuse.
So don’t sit there and wait for the next time you get hit, or he/she calls you those names that make you feel less about yourself. Take action, and do it fast! It will definitely get worse if you don’t seek the right help.
Undoubtedly, breaking up with someone you still love will certainly hurt. However, you are not doing only yourself a favor by taking such a bold step since love also means letting them know their behaviors are intolerable to anyone.
Where and How to break up with someone you still love?
When you’ve finally established you’re not in a healthy relationship and the best thing to do is to move on, actually breaking up with someone you love is no cake walk.
You need to decide the right time, place and strategize how you want to roll out the bombshell.
It’s important not to trivialize the break up by either sending a text message or telling a friend to convey the breakup message, this may seem insensitive and disrespectful.
Experts suggest you give your soon-to-be-ex the privilege to ask questions, meet with you to hear your tone of voice, or possibly see how difficult it is for you to go through the breakup.
Whichever time, place, or medium you choose for the breakup, have it in mind that the best choices when breaking up with someone you love are usually the most uncomfortable ones.
Deciding to meet in person to have a one-on-one conversation with your partner helps you both pinpoint the cause of the breakup and decide together if it’s the best option.
Choose a private place to talk like your place or his, where you can both express yourselves without interruptions. Talking over dinner is not usually the preferred setting since this may likely spark unwanted emotions that will make the breakup even more difficult.
Caution should, however, be applied if your life may be in danger or you just can’t muscle up to put your emotions intact and face your partner. Though meeting your partner to discuss the breakup is best, it’s still okay to either talk over the phone or send an email in exceptional cases as mentioned.
Tips on telling someone you love it’s over
When it comes to actually calling the relationship off, there are no best ways to present the words, you just have to be decisive and get down to it.
If you appear to be indecisive about your decision to break up, it sends the wrong message to the other person who may think you will likely reconsider being together, when you’ve already decided it’s over.
As tempting as it may be, try not to go on and on mentioning all the wrongs on your partners’ side that had prompted your decision to break up with him or her.
This is a wrong strategy and can result in the other person being defensive, upset or unwilling to accept the blame.
Instead, personalize your statements by letting them know how their actions or inaction may have adversely affected you.
For instance, if your partner constantly fails to give more time to the relationship despite your complaints, you could say, “When you invested less time in this relationship despite speaking with you about it, I got unappreciated and sad, and I’ve decided I can’t keep up with this anymore.”
In pulling through any breakup you might want to understand and accept the facts that break up (as painful as it is) is unavoidable in most romantic relationships, and depending on what prompted breaking up with someone you love, not all efforts will result in getting back with an ex.
It is, however, important to know that the strategies and tips suggested in this article will not ultimately prevent the pain of the breakup, but will help you pull through the hurt quickly, allowing you move on to a more healthy relationship in the future.
If you had a Break-up and are trying to get back together, check out: How to Get My Ex Back Even If it Seems Impossible.
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