11 Ways To Get Your Ex Back After You’ve Messed Up Big Time

Here you will know exactly how to get your ex back if you pay attention and act according to my tips. People have asked me hundreds of times, how to get back your ex-boyfriend after he dumped you, how to get your ex-girlfriend back, and all kind of breakup questions that I have been glad to help. Just read on and see.

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Crap hit the fan and things got ugly really fast. You messed up and you want your ex back in your life. What do you do?


What do you need to do in order to redeem yourself, your partner’s reputation, and your relationship?

You see,

..when it comes to getting your ex back learning to demonstrate the genuine aspects of ⇒ love, compassion, patience and kindness will lead to a renewed relationship.

Learn more on: Breaking up with someone you love.

How to get your ex back


The question still remaining is: what does all that look like after there was a breach of trust and your significant other’s heart is broken in some way?

Here is a hint: Relationships like anything alive, require time, focus, and nurturing of togetherness.

Before I reveal my top 11 guaranteed ways to learn how get your ex back. I want you to consider this process of thought: Reflect so you can think clearly and get the results you want.



If you want to master the art of how to get your ex want u back; Take a day, a week, maybe even a month or two to reflect on why you messed up. What was so important to you that you allowed that one thing to sever the relationship? Why is the relationship so important to you now? What changed? Reflecting upon the breakup and your whys and wants can give you major clarification regarding your ex, so that you can ensure what happened won’t happen again. The first step is dealing with the break-up the right way.


how to get my ex back

You will want to consider was this person also cheating on you? Are you trying to get your ex back from another man or woman?

Was your relationship a toxic relationship?

How did your ex make you feel and did that lead to you doing what you did?

How might you overcome that if you get together again assuming the other person won’t change?

Teaching yourself to think differently after you messed up and the relationship has dissolved is key to bringing it back together. This is a great tip on how to get your ex back for good.

If you want different results the second time around, you’ve got to think differently than before. A lot easier said than done, my friend. As mentioned above, this requires focus and attention to your own thought life and what is actually going on upstairs…and not just in the bedroom!

Thinking Clearly

Many people struggle with the ability to think clearly after a break-up. You are strung out on the love chemicals in your body, going through withdrawals and the emotional detachment that takes place is like ripping nerves out of your head, and your left looking at pictures of the past the good times! But thinking clearly begins with letting go of the past. Letting go of both the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Consider breaking up as a sacred space where you get to think for yourself again. Don’t let indecision, confusion, regret, or unwillingness to forgive settle into this space. Look at the relationship strings detaching as a way of rebooting your computer system. The “mess-up” was a glitch and you’ve got to take time to sort that out before you jump back into the “I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again!” and I’ll say anything!” mode.


how to get your ex back


To think clearly. Let go of the past. It can be scary to let go because it seems like those memories are the ones that are holding it all together. Maybe it is. Maybe not. You will only be able to really know for sure, if you learn to let it go. Once you do, the clarity will come. And you will be able to answer the questions asked above and now, why did all of this happen?

One last thing about thinking clearly is during this time of desiring your ex back consider what is reality. I know this is a bit philosophical, but many times our desires, emotions and past experiences are illusions and are not necessarily the present.

Get clear on what you want NOW by deciphering between what are desires from your past and what are your desires NOW. It could be that you messed up because you want something different. Now is the time to pay attention to the current reality within.

As a result of reflecting and thinking clearly you will have the audacity and boldness to get your ex back. With assurance of character and great courage that not only will convince you but also your significant other to be with you and try again.

And now for my top 11 ways to get your ex back after you messed up! These eleven ways of getting your ex back after you’ve messed up are sure to help you re-establish and build trust, connection, and get you dating again.


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11 Ways to Learn How to Get Your Ex Back

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  • Seek Forgiveness and Changing of Ways – After you’ve messed up, seeking forgiveness and a genuine change is the number one top priority for you. You’ve got to forgive yourself for what you did and learn to trust yourself again to make the right decision.


Forgiving oneself is probably one of the hardest things for people to do. They went against their conscience and intuition, they knew they were wrong but did it anyway. They’ve lost trust within themselves because they went against their inner guidance system.

To forgive is simply saying quietly to yourself or writing it down, “I forgive you.” To learn to trust yourself again, is learning to listen to that still small voice within that says “Ah, maybe you shouldn’t do this.”

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  • Seek forgiveness from your ex. Once you’ve forgiven yourself, seek forgiveness with your ex by sending an apology and asking for it. Do not ask for anything else right away.


Keep it simple and with no reason, excuse, or explanation of why it all went down the way it did. At this point, you can expect your ex doesn’t care about your process and why you messed everything up. Your ex wants to know if you care enough to simply apologize and change.

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  • Leave it alone for a time and get back into trusting your gut. Giving your ex space to consider your apology and get a breather from the relationship is key. You really don’t know what pain was caused or how quickly or slowly it will go away.


To assume that an apology is enough to jump back into the dating game with your ex is a bit rough. Allow the space to nurture healing, curiosity, and a second chance. In the mean time you can give yourself the time to grow in focus and to come into an alignment with your core desires and gut instincts again. In other words, to being listening and trusting your intuition.

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  • Nurture your understanding of relationship by reading or listening to a book on relationships or the higher self. Referring to the hint above for relationships, you’ve got to nurture relationship for it to be alive. Any type of material found in the self-help section or relationship section will be a benefit to your understanding of how to make a relationship come to life again.


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  • Demonstrate that you care. Definitely avoid melodrama, but show that you care. It might be a friendship/love letter that reveals how much you know and adore about her, maybe a sweet text when you see or hear something in your day that reminds you of your ex, or maybe buying a gift card to your ex’s favorite restaurant or coffee shop. Demonstrating that you care and are still thinking about her shows her that you still want to make the investment in the relationship.


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  • Meet in person. Meeting in person is one way to rekindle love and connection if fireworks really existed between the two of you. Ask yourself first is the timing right? Make sure to set up a time to meet after you have sought forgiveness or at least if you haven’t yet, this should be the time to do it.


After your meeting, whatever the meeting may result in, continue to let the relationship breathe. Don’t ask for too much and allow things to unfold naturally. If you are prone to direct and lead in conversation or structure any meeting or date, make an extra effort to allow things to flow without your impulses getting in the way. Check out: How to get your ex-boyfriend to want you back.

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  • Remember to “start fresh.” When you are texting, talking, or meeting at any point during your break-up, start it fresh. Keep the content of your exchange present. Understand that every moment is a new moment and you get to decide what the moment means to you. What type of new dynamic will you begin implementing into the way you speak to your ex, the way you communicate, etc.


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  • Keep the past in the past. We as humans have a tendency to hit “replay” and bring our past to present over and over again. Forgetting the past means, forgetting the past past and past past past. Forget about the reasons why you keep messing up relationship after relationship. And let it bury itself. Start new today. And detach yourself from your old stories of what you “always” do in relationships. What do you want to do now. Who are you being today?


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  • Make space for emotions. Allow for all those good emotions when you think of your ex to remain, but be grounded. Set some boundaries for yourself and respect your ex’s boundaries. Your ex may be going through many different emotions while seeing you or hearing from you. When you seek to control, manipulate, or persuade the emotions to be different from what they are it will not come across as loving.


Making space and allowing emotions to just be will build the trust that your ex desires. Your ex will want to have the freedom to rethink the relationship and reconnect at their own pace. Giving them space is a gift that benefits them and yourself.

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  • Be all in. Whenever you are deciding to pick up the relationship again especially after you messed up, be 100% all in. Lukewarm feelings are easily detected by the heart and there will always feel like something is “off.” Make sure that as you pursue a new relationship with your ex that you are 100% sold out and committed to making something different this time.


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  • Tune in to your ex’s vibe. The last thing you want to do is get your ex back, pull out all the stops, buy the flowers, have the dinner, and then realize she or he never was into it and was glad that you messed up! Tune in. Your heart can read the signs as well as feel the signs. Listen to the subtleties and act. If the vibe is saying, “I’m done” it is probably best to let it rest.


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On the other hand, if the connection is indeed restored then all is well. Continue to nurture, focus, set good boundaries, be all in, make space, be present and trust your instincts. Believe me I had to learn the hard way how to get my ex back. If you are trying to get a girl back, check out; how to win a girl back and keep her.

Remember that getting your ex back after you’ve messed up big time is a new beginning. You are not ushering in the old relationship and it will require focus, nurture, and time invested in order for it to flourish. Carefully considering and giving your attention to the eleven steps above will have you well on your way to building a solid foundation of trust back into your relationship and genuine love. As a result, your dating each other will improve and provide immense satisfaction and happiness.